Leaving in four days...

Wow! I have been so bad about updating. I am so so sorry! Things have been so crazy, but God has been doing more than I can explain. This last weekend I got to go home for Thanksgiving, and seeing my family was just awesome! It was refreshing to be there and get to spend so much time with them... even though it went by super fast. I was sad to leave them, but not sad to come back. I have been doing a lot to get ready for outreach emotionally, spiritually, AND physically! We leave Sunday morning!! It came so fast! For those of you who don't already know, I just got the rest of my tuition money in last week. Praise God!! But I am still in need of some extra money for small needs I will most likely have overseas. Thank you to all of you who have been such a blessing to me, in helping me be able to take this journey! I could not do it without you!

It's hard to explain what all is going through my brain at the moment.. and my heart. But, of course, these next few days will be a little stressful trying to get everything together and prepare myself for what God has! There are many things that we will be doing over our trip that I just know God has His hand in my team and all the places that we will be going. If any of you would want to be part of my email chain please send me your email address ASAP! I won't be able to talk on the phone and I don't know for sure how often I will be able to get to an internet cafe... but I will make it a priority for sure!

I am definitely struggling to have daily quiet times. But I realize more and more every day how important they are. Maybe not "quiet times" but more just being in the word and spending time with God. I can see how it affects me when I don't stay on top of it. Over outreach I am going to discipline myself to reading the new testament over our three month period. I'm kind of excited about it! God wants to teach me so much. I can feel it!

All I can say is that I never dreamed there would be so much drama at a place like this!!! But, hey, we're all human right? Some things have been hard and I have found myself more than ever before, believing the lies that the enemy loves throwing at me. I have had to make a daily choice to look at myself through God's eyes, and no one else's! But it is definitely a challenge. I don't think I've ever been so insecure about myself as I have been these last few days. And part of me is afraid about that end of outreach. I don't doubt that God will use me exactly the way He wants to, or even that I won't be able to adapt to the culture and the different way of life for awhile. But I can't even imagine going, and trying to be a light to the lost... feeling like this. I know that God is bigger than all of this!! And He is reminding me every minute of how precious I am to Him and what HE says about me. But, it's hard to get that from my head to my heart. Please be praying for me on outreach.. that God would give me His eyes for myself and ALL those around me. I don't want anything to blind me from seeing His wonders and glory on this amazing journey! He is going to do so much, and teach me more than I can imagine! And the enemy wants to bring me down and keep me from being excited and wanting to go. So be praying for me! I know that I'll be fine. Love you guys and thank you so much for being here!

My email address is bparkman@ymail.com --Send me an email letting me know that you would like to receive my updates! :)