Home Again..

I'm finally home! I've been here for about two weeks and things have changed fast! When I first got here I had a friend from DTS come home with me for about a week. So I took her all around to fun places and showed her what I could of Oklahoma.. and then she went home. Which, I think, is when reality sort of set in. I remember I drove her to the airport and dropped her off and then came home. And when I got home no one was there. Everyone at my house has work and school. So I literally sat on my bed and stared at the wall for 20 minutes. I can't explain what it felt like. For the past six months I was going going going. And all of the sudden I don't really have anywhere I need to be or anything I even HAVE to do. I started cleaning things and trying to find things to do to fill my time, because otherwise I was going to sit there and think about how much I miss it. And I do. I miss the atmosphere of people just seeking God's face 24/7. That's what we existed for the last six months.. and it was absolutely amazing. I miss worship and intercession three times a week... but not just ANY worship. The kind where you're on your face weeping in awe of who God is. And I learned so much.. I think now it's just a matter of learning how to take it and put it into my everyday life. And it's really hard. As time has started going by I realize how easy it is to get caught up in routine and schedules... and I forget how much I love spending time with my Jesus. In the car, today, I turned the music off and just listened to His voice and talked to Him about a lot of different things. And then I wanted to cry because I loved it so much... and I couldn't believe I had gone so many days without listening and spending time just hanging out with Him.. praising Him. I love Him more than I can say. And it's been such a blessing to have come this far, and have had the opportunity to dedicate these last few months to Him and just letting myself fall in love with Him. My relationship with Him has grown so much deeper.. and I know He wants to teach me so much more. I'm pretty sure I'm working towards going back in January of 2011! I want to take the SBS (School of Biblical Studies) where they take nine months and go through the entire bible and just pick it apart. Then it has a three month outreach.. so it would be a year long. Which is a long time to leave my home and my family again. But I can't think of anything I could possibly want more right now. I wasn't created to just exist. I was created for adventure! And that's God's desire for me! And, now, His desire is mine. I almost can't remember what I wanted before all of this! All I want now is to take Him by the hand and go where He will lead me! And I'm pretty sure He's told me the next adventure is SBS!

But this last week God has really opened my eyes to see how easy it is for me to spend all my time thinking about the past and future. (The future A LOT!!) I'm excited about where He's taking me and what He wants to do! And DTS was amazing.. and I can easily spend a lot of time missing it.. and missing the people there. But I'm not in either of those places. I'm here. In Edmond, Oklahoma. And I'm so glad to be home. I absolutely love my family.. and I've missed them so very much. Everyday with them is precious to me. And I'm spending all the time I can with them! God is teaching me to love with all my heart. And it's an adventure, here, too! Because it's where God has placed me for the next ten months. And so I will choose to BE here, putting my heart into everything I do and continuing to let God teach me things! What a blessing that He's gracefully opening my eyes.. and continuing to reveal Himself to me! I'm so glad to be home!