Accepted!!

Well, I got a call last thursday from the YWAM staff telling me that I was Accepted! They're sending me my packing list in the mail and I'm expected to start raising my money and turning it in on a regular basis. Honestly, I knew that if I was accepted it had to be where God wanted me... and I know it is. I'm just so nervous. It's a scary thought that I'll be there without my family and close friends, and I'm sure I'll make friends but I've never been good at it. I'm just praying for the peace of God in all things. It seems like everyday I see, even more, how blessed I am here. I took my sweet courtsie on a date the other day to have tea and then to get ice cream. While we were sitting at the Inspirations Tea Room I was watching her stir her tea and scoop it into her mouth with a spoon, when she looked up at me and smiled and said "Tell me a story Bethy!" And I can't explain how much I loved her right then... how much I always love her! And maybe thats scary too, knowing that for six months my whole life will be different. It won't revolve around my family anymore, but rather my Jesus. Which is good for me, i guess... it will be an adventure. Just kind of scary. The other day I remembered one morning, I think about a year ago, when Jace and Courtlynn had spent the night with us. My mom had stayed up most of the night, probably watching Jace breathe, and woke me up at about six. She had been trying to get him to drink his thickened milk and he wouldn't take it. But when I picked him up and put it in his mouth he started drinking. He had gotten to where he would only take it from lydia and I, and that morning... he needed me. I often find myself thinking about his beautiful blue eyes and curly red hair, and just needing him. I loved the way he grabbed at my shirt when I'd hold him close, or the way he slept with his mouth open. My favorite thing to do was trace the curves of his little face with my finger, or kiss those perfect lips. Sometimes I wonder if life will ever be better again. And while I do believe that God will continue to heal my heart and the hearts of my family, I think I am forever changed because of my baby angel. And, yet, God is still good. He's always been faithful to me. And even though I'm nervous about this next part of my journey with him, I know that He is always with me. 

Okay, so this is where my future lies... well for six months at least. It's beautiful isn't it? I'm so excited, but still really nervous at the same time! I know God has something really amazing in store for me though. Right now I'm just trying to make the most of everyday, spending as much time with my family as I can. Because, come september (If I make it in!), I won't see them except for pictures on the computer! I don't know what I'll do without my Courtsie! Or without everyone else, for that matter! But God is still good! He always is! I feel like I have so much to do to get ready for everything, preparing for YWAM and college at the same time. But somehow I have a peace about everything. We've been praying for a car for me because were not sure the one I have now will be safe enough to drive down there. And I'll need some sort of GPS, otherwise who knows where I'd end up!? And I'll need a laptop if I want to stay in touch with everyone and keep this blog up! Not to mention all the money I'll need to pay for YWAM... and college, when I get home! All this and I have a peace! God will provide! He always does! Be praying for me!