Jett Richard Campbell finally came on Tuesday, April 21st!! The same day as my dad's birthday! He was 9lb 6oz, 20 3/4 inches long! Which may sound big to everyone else, but to us he feels so tiny!! He is absolutely beautiful and he looks so much like his big brother! God has been so good! It is amazing how he already knows how to suck on his paci and how he just uses his little eyes to look right at you. I find myself amazed at even every little noise he makes! I don't think I will ever take for granted all those little things that babies are born knowing! Sometimes when I'm holding him, I can feel myself relieved at even his breathing. I am so thankful for our sweet little man and I can't believe how perfect he is! There are so many things about him that remind me of Jace. Which is bittersweet! I miss him so much and can't keep myself from wondering what everything would be like if he were still here. There aren't words to describe it, there never are. But God continues to heal our broken hearts, I can feel it! I feel it when I'm being silly with my Court. I feel it when I'm holding Jett close and he wraps his hands around my "Jace" necklace. I feel it everyday, in little unexpected things! And God has shown us to have joy again! He is so good! Here are some pictures! Thank you guys for being a part!!

My date for prom!

Two more days...

Well we are so excited to meet our sweet Jett Richard on Tuesday!!! We have been guessing about what he is going to look like for almost nine months now, and I can't wait to actually hold him in my arms! It's going to be such a sweet day! And I just know that God is going to be exactly what each one of us needs Him to be! But in the midst of all the excitement there is still a bit of a bitter taste mixed in with all the sweet. Which seems to be the story with every situation since our sweet Jace went to be with Jesus. I miss him so very much. Little Courtlynn seemed to put it into perfect words this morning when her mama asked her if she was excited to meet her new baby brother... "Yes, but.....I just miss Jace." Which is exactly how all of us feel I think! At bible study today we sang the old hymn "Come Thou Fount" and I just couldn't keep from thinking about my baby angel. There are so many memories that I love, I couldn't possibly even begin! Sometimes I feel like there aren't even words. And I hate feeling like I'm always talking about it... but i mean, what else is there to talk about?! Such a sweet baby, the most beautiful boy I had ever seen.... and he's gone. How can I keep from missing him and talking about him!? And there is so much God has done through all of it... so much that He is still doing! I can't tell you how amazing it is to feel like (and know!) that I've seen and touched the face of God. He is constantly telling me how much He loves me in more ways than I could ever imagine! So it's a little crazy to be in the middle of everything! But... I know I say it every time... God is STILL good! And I have a feeling He will continue to be! Be praying for my sweet family! I will post pictures as soon as I can!! Love you all!

Fasting and praying...

Well I stayed up last night praying for a long time and I really felt like God was telling me to fast from secular music. Which I don't really listen to that much anyway, but I think it's important for me to worship all throughout the day! It helps me stay focused on really spending time with Him. I'm also really trying to remind myself to constantly be asking God for faith when it comes to my whole financial situation.... and I'm still trying to trust! Its just so much easier said than done! But I know that He is much bigger than all of it and I'm going to look back and wonder why I ever even worried! The garage sale is still in progress.... I'm thinking it will be around the end of May. Possibly the 29th and 30th? But I'm not for sure! I'm still working out the details! I recently got invited to my first and only prom! Which was a shock to me! But God provided a dress for $35! YES! Only $35 brand new! And it's gorgeous! So that was indication enough for me that I am meant to go! :) I'm really excited though! It's so sweet of my Jesus to help me make room for special things even in the midst of all this fundraising! He's too good to me! Exactly two weeks from yesterday is baby Jett's birthday! And we are all so excited! I can't wait to meet him! It's hard to predict how it will be though. I'm sure it will be such a sweet time of healing and celebration but I can imagine that it will be hard not to think about the day we met our precious Jace!

I still remember suiting up with Rocky and waiting for what seemed like FOREVER to go into the operating room! We were so sure he'd have dark hair and eyes like his big sister but when they finally shoved him over the sheet he was nothing like any of us could have predicted! ...He was better! Bright blue eyes and soft red hair! I fell in love with that baby the minute he arrived! He was absolutely perfect! I miss him so much it hurts. But God is still good. And I know I say that a lot but He just is. He is going to make it everything we need it to be! It's going to be amazing! Thank you guys for listening and taking the time to read! Keep praying!

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy." (Titus 3:4-5)

Quick update...

I read over my YWAM packet the other night and kind of tried to map out my money situation so here it is... I sent in $1,025 and I have almost another $500 ready to send in! Praise Jesus! But I'm still a little overwhelmed when I look at the grand total of possibly $5,000 to go!!! God is good though! He can see the big picture and I can't! So I am planning to come up with some other fundraising ideas! I am going to talk with Mardel this week about having a bake sale outside of their store? And I want to send out some emails about having people save up some things that they might want to donate to me for a massive garage sale!! Thinking outside the box! There are more ways than one! So keep praying! God is providing!

Trusting God...

Okay so I sent in my first big chunk of money and I'm working on my second one, but I have to be honest... I'm a little worried because it's been a good week since I've gotten anymore in! I'm really trying to trust God with everything, though. I know He is going to provide! It's just so hard to stay positive sometimes and I get so caught up in day-to-day things that I forget to spend time with him and talk to him about things! But the other night we were having worship outside at Bethany Gunn's house, and the weather was so amazingly perfect!!! And for the first time in a long time I really felt God's presence. I felt Him touch my cheek and He said "Trust Me." And can I just tell you how much I love it when He does that kind of stuff? Because, it's so romantic! I swear, my heart skipped a beat! I can't imagine a man on this earth that could touch me like that and say anything to me and take my breath away like He does! He doesn't exist!! God is just too good! He just knows when I need him the most, doesn't he? So, I'm continuing to learn to trust Him with everything! And I'm trying to remember that He has always been faithful to me, and He always will be.

I'm kind of discouraged today. Just about everything, I guess. Money, friends, family, life... I don't know. It's kind of hard when you realize that everything you thought was so important just isn't anymore. And I guess I should have realized that by now. I think you just have days, you know? I missed Jace today... but when do I not? Sometimes I get into the swing of life and it's almost like I forget. But reality is always there to remind me. And it's nothing you can really explain. You just see his perfect little face in your mind and the memories play back like a movie clip, over and over... and all you want to do is curl up with a blanket, and you think that maybe if you lay there long enough you'll be able to smell him again or remember what his little giggle was like. Because what in the world could be any better than that? Im just trying to embrace all the good things I still have. I have my Courtsie and the rest of my family that loves and cares about me. But what is it about pain that seems to lock you in this place where no matter how hard you try, it seems like you just can't stop thinking about that one thing that you lost? That one person... that sweet baby boy. Will it ever go away? Part of me, I think, hopes not! Because I don't want to forget even an inch of him. And I don't think I ever will. How could I? How could anyone that ever looked into his icy blue eyes? So I'm trusting you, God. With the small things and the big ones.... but no one said it was going to be easy.

I missed my boy yesterday. Sometimes I just have days when no matter what I do I can't get his precious face out of my mind. And the memories are still so fresh. Part of me hopes they always stay that way. I remember every inch of him. What it felt like to hold him in my arms. But when I look back, it was more like he was holding me. Especially that last day in the swimming pool. I held him for what felt like an eternity! And no matter what, I will never forget the feeling of his little body relaxing into mine. He trusted me. He needed me. And so often, now, I find myself needing him. In fact even when he was here I'd have days that I would get this longing to hold him or even just kiss him. So, I'd make my way to Lydia's house and I'd stay there for hours lying on the floor with him, helping feed him, or putting his jammies on him. (Jammies are my favorite!) And I think thats when it hurts the most. When I get that longing, just like before... only he's not here anymore. I ran into a girl the other day that I hadn't seen in probably a year and she asked me "How's Jace?" And right there in the middle of McAlister's I had to say what is forever on my mind, out loud. The words seemed to sort of slap me in the face. "He passed away in July." It's like, I'm always thinking about that fact... But it does something to you when you have to say it. And it doesn't seem like enough. Like it would have been more appropriate to scream it or start balling right there because that sentence can't even begin to express the reality of my every day. And if this is the reality of my every day then I can't imagine what it's like for my sister and brother-in-law. And that thought, alone, brings me to my knees in awe of their strength and courage! I can't say how proud I am of them. And I look at them and it just blows me away. That through our "little healer" God is graciously healing our hearts. Because no matter how good we think we're doing there is always something that needs healing. So today God is comforting me. And in the midst of all of this pain... He is still good.

Coming Along

So i found the pictures from when me, mom and dad visited the facility in colorado... Pretty amazing! I can't imagine what it will be like to wake up every morning to these immaculate mountains! They truly are beautiful! It's so amazing to think about our God and how he made this beautiful world just because he loves us! It makes me think about that song by Kim Walker "How He Loves" and it's so sweet to realize how much he really does just love us! No matter where we are, or what we've done! He is so very good! I've started to collect money and its coming along! I'm getting more and more excited! I think it still seems a little surreal. I was thinking the  other day about when we drive there... they will have some kind of banquet dinner to welcome the new students and my parents will stay the night and then the next morning they'll catch a plane and I'll be there all alone! Well I'm never alone, but I'm sure it will be hard to say goodbye to a pretty big chapter of my life and start a new one. I know that God is even using this time to prepare me for everything. It's gonna be so crazy to 

leave everyone behind! Like every monday me and my two best friends go running and we just talk about everything going on in our lives! I'll miss them so much! And by the time I get back Amanda will be in college and Bethany will have graduated hair school and who knows 

what she'll be doing!? But I'm just trusting God to help me let everyone go, and be ready for things to be completely different when I get home. I'm such a planner that it kills me to not be able to plan out my future and know what will happen and what everything is going to be like, but I guess thats part of my journey God's taking me on too! Just learning how to trust him with everything and knowing that he has it all planned out! Bailey and I went to see a movie last week while my parents were out of town and it was a blast! We had so much fun taking 

pictures in the car and blaring the music! She's growing up so fast! But I guess we all are! Lydia is about to have baby number three and I can't wait to see him! He's going to be so perfect! And even though there are all these exciting things going on I can't help but feel the bitter part of it all, too. Because, while this is going to be awesome, there will be so much that I will miss here at home. My mom and dad, Bailey, Andrew and Cat, Lydia and rocky, Courtlynn and Jett, and all my friends. I can't help but be a little sad. What will I do without my Courtsie dates or my monday morning runs with my best girls? And what about wednesdays when I hang out with Lyds? Or almost every evening when I climb into my parents bed with bailey and the four of us laugh hysterically until we can't keep our eyes open!? The family, I think, is God's greatest gift! And I am so comfortable here. I love my family and friends more than anything. But it's time for me to take the hand of my King and trust that he's going to take me just where he wants me to be! And that He will never leave me! I just have to keep reminding myself that it's only for six months and it's going to be amazing! God is so good and he works all things out for the good of those who love him! Keep praying!